The better the communication between the spouses, the more successful mediation can be, because the spouses will each actively participate in the mediation process. However, when the spouses are unable to deal directly with each other, mediation can still be useful. In this case, the mediator may start by meeting with both spouses to discuss the objectives of the mediation and then separate them so the mediator can meet with one spouse at a time, in different rooms. The mediator can then shuttle between the two spouses to mediate an agreement.

Going through a divorce can be one of life’s most stressful experiences. At a time of intense emotion, you are required to make critical decisions that will have a long-term impact on your future. Because the process can be so overwhelming, it is important to be guided by the right Divorce lawyer.

· Look for someone you can trust and talk to. You need to feel comfortable sharing information about yourself. The more informed your Divorce lawyer is about your situation, the more effective he/she can be in helping you.

· Rely on an expert. One reason the divorce process can be stressful is that many of your decisions will be based on information you may not have. A good Divorce lawyer will be able to answer your questions clearly and thoroughly.

· Expect objectivity. At a time when emotions are high, it’s important to have an impartial ally to explain your options and to help you make the right choices.

· Find a lawyer with good judgment. While some of the decisions you will make are legal, others are practical, but no less crucial. You may need to decide where to live, whether you should see a doctor, or go to the police. You may want feedback on what to tell your children and family. The right lawyer will be able to offer you invaluable advice, based on experience and good judgment.

· Look for a lawyer with connections. Many people assume that because they’re getting a divorce, they will have to go to court. In reality, divorce cases rarely go that far. There are all sorts of experts in the legal community trained to assist you in coming to a peaceful agreement with your partner long before the stress and expense of a trial is required. Specialists like mediators, arbitrators and parenting coordinators may be appropriate in your situation. A good lawyer will be able to assess your needs and connect you with the right experts.

· Find a lawyer with vision. A good lawyer understands that although your marriage has failed, your life still holds as much promise for success as ever. By helping you create a short-term plan, your lawyer will make certain that you and those you love are taken care of throughout the divorce process. A long-term life plan will ensure that you thrive in the future. For example, if you have children, you may worry about how they will adjust to their parents living in separate homes. With a good long-term plan, the children will benefit from having two parents who respect one another’s separate parenting identity, and who appreciate the importance each parent has in their lives. A lawyer with foresight will lay the groundwork for your successful future.

The Child Support Guidelines state that there is a presumption that one parent pays the other parent child support according to the payer’s annual income and the “table” amount. [To see the child support tables, go to www.benmor.com, Links, Federal Child Support Guidelines]

For example, a non-custodial father of 2 children who earns $40,000 per year would pay a table amount of $570 per month. But a family court judge is given the discretion to deviate from the table amount and reduce the amount of child support payable if the payor has the children in his or her care for 40% of the time during the course of a year. The discretion is based on section 9 of the Child Support Guidelines.

Because there is no formula that can be applied in an equitable way in all circumstances, this discretion has caused confusion.

In the 2002 decision of Contino v. Leonelli-Contino, the appellate court set out guidelines for considering a deviation from the presumption that one parent pays the other parent child support according to the payor’s annual income and the table amount. The appellate court stated that there is a presumption in favour of the table amount. However, the parent seeking a deviation may establish on clear and compelling evidence that a reduction in child support is in the children’s best interest, and also based on the circumstances, as described in section 9 of the Child Support Guidelines.